so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
