Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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