I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
