girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
