oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
