Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
