I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
