Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
