nut hugger
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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