don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
