Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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