I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
