it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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