So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
