My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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