i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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