SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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