Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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