and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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