Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Acid is not a monday night drug
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
