Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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