i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
