she was so not down for the gang bang
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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