Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
