im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
