Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
