I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
