Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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