Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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