He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
