how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
