Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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