And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
