he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
sex in a hospital.. check
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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