That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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