Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
