Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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