idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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