Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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