the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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