There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
