yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Randomize
