I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
