I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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