He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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