You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
