i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Someone shit on the floor
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How does one acquire holy water?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
