Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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