If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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