you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
