he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
