When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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