I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You don't make any sense
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